Get over them.
Get over him.
Get over her.
Get over hurt.
Get over pain.
Get over cutting words.
Get over ugly looks.
Just get over it.
Sometimes we don't just get over things. Sometimes hurt and pain and tears and agony lasts for a life time. Sometimes what people say to us is unbelievably hurtful and that hurt remains for years. Seventeen years. Eleven years. The things we say, the comments, the aggressive stance we take, they can color how people view themselves for years to come.
Eleven years after abuse and aggression you still flinch. There is very little that will wash the taint of angry, manipulative male out. So you do what you can, you smile, you ignore, you pretend and you take the nightmares and stuff them down.
I don't want to be someone that people have to "get over" being around. If in speaking there is not love, then it is simply the sound of resounding cymbals. Hark. Listen to Thumper's Mother "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Seventeen years after the fact. Today being asked to extend forgiveness was good. But being told that my body was unacceptable was bad. Unfortunately I won't just get over it. But thankfully there is someone who is helping me carry that burden of not just getting over it. Truth be told this apology was weakened by the events earlier in the day. Treating me like a lesser person at the table of conversation tells me what you really think of me, despite a wept confession.
I can forgive it. More importantly I can make a conscious choice to think about what my mouth says. Make sure that I'm not a person who has created dark memories for others. Learn the lesson. Take things to heart. Be more tender. Reject the bitterness that is so tempting.
I can forgive eleven years after the fact even if the person who hurt could care less about confessing, I can acknowledge there won't be a magical fix, and on this earth somethings are broken for good. Give thanks for the lesson learned, be delighted that Jesus helps with nightmares.
Speak with love.
Speak with tenderhearted care.
Speak because you are thinking of others.
Speak loving truth.